Ok, I cannot be the only one of a “certain age” that is flipping the eff out over this one.   My beloved Verizon email is being sold out to….AOL?!?

I’ve been seeing some emails come through from different places, such as my life insurer, retirement fund, and Travelzoo (hey, a gal can dream!) about Verizon discontinuing their email service.  As a former IT geek, frankly I thought it was a crock o’ shit, and dutifully hit that delete key.  Hard.   Seriously, I have about 13,000 unread emails in my inbox at the moment, so maybe I have missed some stuff.  But tonight I got a message from a dear friend’s mom, who also happens to be my neighbor, asking for help with Verizon.  At that point my blood ran cold.  Could it be true?

AOL???  REALLY???

I remember working on a Lanier Word Processor that was as big as a wine fridge in the mid-80’s  and loving it.   Then we got computers, and I became positively fascinated.  In 1990 I got a job for a major cosmetic manufacturer helping roll out computers & training to the company.  Soon after I started we bought our first home computer.   It had a 20 MG hard drive, DOS, WordPerfect, Lotus, and a dial up modem.  We chose CompuServe as our online servicer.

The internet back then looked nothing like it does now.  Windows didn’t exist for the layperson.  We had bulletin boards, and you had to know the right commands to get places from the blinking cursor on your screen.

There was no Google.  verizon email migrates to aol scream

It cost so much per minute (if I remember correctly it was one price during the day and another, cheaper price at night), was slower than molasses….and addicting as brownies, ice cream, and coffee, all rolled into one amazing sugar pill.  Sometime around 1993 or ’94, AOL started mailing gazillions of CDs to homes, trying to get people to sign up for their service.  It worked.  Soon 3 out of 4 people had @aol.com email addresses.Verizon Email Migrates to AOL CDAOL had a windows-based environment and was very user friendly.  It was dumbed-down internet to us geeks…and we wanted NOTHING to do with it.  It allowed people who had no idea what they were doing go online and muck up the stratosphere for the rest of us.  And the questions….ay yi yi, the questions!  I remember cursing every stupid CD AOL ever mailed.

AND NOW THEY WANT ME TO BECOME A PART OF THEM??

We (yes that’s the royal We, what of it?) are NOT amused. I feel like I’m selling out.   At my age, I can’t keep up with technology as much anymore.  Is this my penance?  To live in AOL hell for the rest of my days?  I don’t want to hear some asshole chirping, “You got mail!” in that bright little voice.  It’s bringing bills, you dumbass!

Can anyone relate?

PS – I have not been served my migration papers.  Yet.  I had to call Verizon to ask.  Because, well, 13,000 unread emails.  =:-O